Shadow the Hedgehog vs the World
by Double-A-B
Summary: Shadow the Hedgehog is in love with Rouge the Bat. But to date her, he needs to defeat her seven evil exes. Can he defeat them? No flames please, only constructive critism.


**Author's note: Hello people. I know Shadow doesn't fit Scott Pilgrim, but this just came to my head and I thought "What the heck." I don't own Sonic the Hedgehog, Scott Pilgrim, or any other video game mentioned in this story. Enjoy!**

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"You're dating a 17-year-old?" someone asked. In Westopolis, there are 4 animals talking to each other. One of them, Shadow the Hedgehog, is dating a 17-year-old.

"I don't see what the big deal is?" Shadow asked calmly.

SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG

BASSIST

WANTS TO BE CALM AT ALL TIMES

"The deal is she's 17 and you're like, what, 30 or so?" another one said. It was Wave the Swallow, the drummer of Shadow's band, Sex Bob-omb.

WAVE THE SWALLOW

DRUMMER

FINDS ALL THINGS ANNOYING

"Wave, do we have to-?"

"You're sick. So you've been out of high school for about 13 years-"

"23! Alright! I'm 23! Damn!"

"Hey, cut him some slack, Wave," Mighty, the singer and guitarist said, "So, is she nice?"

MIGHTY THE ARMADILLO

GUITARIST AND LEAD VOCALS

'THE TALENT'

"Yeah." Shadow told them.

"Have you two?"

"No. All we do is talk. We've barely held hands."

"Still, cool. Is she cute?" was Charmy 'Lil' Charm', a bee who's learning bass from Shadow.

CHARMY 'LIL' CHARM' BEE

BASS APPRENTICE

THE STUDENT

"Yeah, a little." Shadow told him.

"How'd you meet?"

"On the bus. She was with her mom, and she-"

"She was with her mom?" Wave asked.

"May I finish? Anyways, she dropped her books, I helped her out, and now we're dating."

"And you don't find this a big deal?"

"She's almost 18 anyway. There's nothing really to worry about."

"Bring her over."

"Alright, I will."

After practicing a few more songs, Shadow left and went to his friend's house. After opening the door, Shadow kept his eyes covered and asked, "Is it safe to come in?"

"It's alright. I don't have anyone here this time." A voice said. Shadow turned on the lights, opened his eyes, and saw his roommate, Ray the Flying Squirrel, simply reading a book.

RAY THE FLYING SQUIRREL

SHADOW'S ROOMATE

COOL, GAY, AND WISE

"Good. Last time, I saw you and your friend-"

"You said you didn't want to talk about it. Just let it be." Shadow then threw himself on Ray's mattress. Almost, if not 100%, of everything in their apartment belonged to Ray. The TV, the books, even on the grocery list they would write 'Ray' by almost all the items.

"And I'm dating a 17-year-old. Thought I would tell ya."

"Ooh, what's his name?"

"Funny. _Her_ name is Marine the Raccoon."

"Whoa, 17-years-old and a raccoon. Interesting. Well, I'm going to use the bathroom." After Ray entered the bathroom, someone called. Shadow picked it up and heard, "A 17-year-old?" screaming in his ear. It was Amy, his younger sister.

AMY THE HEDGEHOG-ROSE

SHADOW'S YOUNGER SISTER

A LITTLE MORE MATURE

"How, did you find out?"

"Ray."

"That little, son of a bitch!"

"What's her name?"

"Marine the Raccoon."

"And she's a raccoon!"

"She also goes to a Catholic-"

"School! Uniforms and all that crap?"

"Yeah."

"Scandalous. Just scandalous. I wonder what will happen when the nuns hear that she lost her-"

"We've only hugged once. Maybe."

"Well, I just hope you're happy."

"Sarcasm works for you perfectly."

"Whatever. See ya."

"Later."

"Later Amy."

"Get off the line, Ray!" After some dinner, they both went to sleep. For some odd reason, Shadow dreamt that he was in a field with only snow.

"Where am I?" He asked himself. Out of nowhere, a bat flew from a portal and told him, "You're having a dream. And you're about to wake up." Before Shadow could talk to her, he woke up.

"What time is it?" Shadow asked.

"I don't know, 7 in the morning?" Ray told him as he got out of bed.

"I had a weird dream. I was in a field with nothing but snow. Then, a bat appeared from some portal that might have led to another place…"

"A vagina?" Ray asked.

"No! I didn't think _you_ would say that. Anyway, she just told me I was in a dream and then I woke up."

"Interesting. Anyways, aren't you going to bring your girlfriend to your band today? You're 17-year-old girlfriend?"

"Speaking of which, I'm bringing her right now. See ya!" Shadow jumped out of the door, and ran to the stop sign where he said he would meet Marine. When she saw him, she screamed his name, jumped on him, and kissed him on all parts of the face. As they walked to the Mighty's place, Marine said, "I'm so glad to see you! I can't wait to see your band!'

"Please, promise me you'll be good."

"I thought I was always good."

"I mean, just listen to the music, talk, but just be good."

"Okay, I promise." When they got there, Mighty opened the door and said, "So this is Shadow's girlfriend. My name's Mighty."

"I'm Marine. Shadow wants to me be good."

"What, are you bad?"

"I thought I was okay." She said.

"Well, you've met Mighty, this is Wave." Shadow told her.

"Hi. You play the drums?"

"Yeah. It's what I do."

"Cool." When Marine sat down, she saw Charmy and said, "Hi, what do you play?"

"My name's Charmy, and I just live here."

"Oh. Okay." When all of the band members got their instruments ready, Shadow said, "Okay, how about we play Launchpad McQuack?"

"Well, that isn't the actual name-" Mighty got cut off by Wave screaming, "We are Sex Bob-omb! 1! 2! 3! 4!" After she said that, all three started playing and Marine got lost in the music. She could hear every instrument flow perfectly in the song. When it was done, she said, "That…was…awesome!" After some more songs, Shadow walked her out to the bus stop. Marine's eyes were still sparkling as she said, "Wow…You're amazing."

"Thanks. So, I'll see you after school?"

"Yeah…okay." She walked onto the bus while still staring at Shadow. When Shadow got back, he asked them what they thought of her.

"She's nice." Charmy said.

"Fine by me." Mighty told him.

"…" Wave didn't speak

"Well?" Shadow asked her.

"Are you actually happy, Shadow?" Wave asked him. Shadow didn't speak.

"I think you hurt him." Mighty said.

"I just asked."

"He might be in pain inside."

"All I'm asking is-"

"Wounded."

"Forget it." The next day, after Marine was done with school Shadow and Ray walked there.

"So, I'm going to meet your girlfriend. This is going to be embarrassing for you."

"I'll be fine. And you'll like her."

"I know I will. I just can't wait for her to see she's dating an actual moron." After Ray said that, Marine ran up to the two of them in her uniform.

"Hi Shadow! Oh and you must be Ray! I'm Marine!" the raccoon said.

"Yeah I've heard about you. How old are you again?"

"I'm 17."

"Alright. Whoa, look at the time. I gotta go somewhere. Bye Shadow. Oh and Marine" Ray grabbed her by the shoulders and said, "You're too good for him." Then, he walked off. After a while, Shadow and Marine were at the music store. "Have you heard of 'The Crash at Diamondhead'?" Marine asked. Those words stung Shadow a little. He used to date the lead singer, Blaze, but then she dumped him and dated a pretty boy named Silver.

"I've heard of them."

"I LOVE them! They're awesome! Their new album was released today and I need to have it!" When Marine found it, she squealed. After they bought it, Marine said, "Anyways, Crash at Diamondhead is cool, but I think you guys are awesome! Your band…"

"Well, actually it's Mighty's band."

"Anyways, you guys are awesome. I've never gone out with someone so talented. Then again, I don't really date. I haven't even kissed a guy."

"…Don't worry. I haven't kissed a guy either."

"Good to know." Then, they walked to Shadow's secret base. It was an old house he used to live in.

"It was sorta no girls aloud thing. We'd go in, but my parents sold it." Shadow told her.

"Oh, I thought it would have been cool to see it. At least I saw the outside. Anyways, see ya later?" Marine said.

"Yeah. See ya." Later that night, Shadow had another dream. He was playing at a big show with the band, when his guitar disappeared. Then, his band mates. Everything started to disappear until he was back at the snowy field.

"Great. I'm here again. I feel so alone." Shadow kept saying that to himself until he saw that same bat, this time wearing goggles and on an extreme gear. Then, he said, "It's just a dream."

"Good call," she said to him as she flew by, "and do all you dream of is snow?" Then, Shadow found himself at a coffee shop, with Mighty and Charmy.

"Shadow, I said may I borrow about $.50?" Charmy said.

"Oh, sure here. I was just thinking of a dream I had." Shadow told his friends.

"Well, I don't wanna hear your dreams. So, quiet."

"Well-there-you're not-it doesn't-never mind." After Shadow left, he went to the library with Marine. "Why is it that libraries remind me of grade school?" Shadow told her.

"Maybe cuz they're quiet?" Marine said as they headed down the stairs.

"I guess so but-" Shadow stopped when he saw a bat, wearing a red coat, black shirt, blue pants, and white roller blades. That's almost the exact same clothes the bat in his dreams wore. When she left, Marine asked, "Do you know her?"

"Maybe." Is all Shadow said. Then, they were at Mighty's, where he heard, "Hey, you only played one note for that entire song. Were you distracted by your girlfriend?" from Mighty.

"I'll keep it down." Marine said.

"Let's play it again." Mighty said. Shadow said, "…Monkeys in a poo bottle." Shadow was still thinking of the bat, when he heard "This party will be off the hook!"

"Where are we going?" Shadow asked.

"Oh no. I'm not telling you for a 50th time." Mighty said.

"We're going to Sally's party." Wave said.

"Oh crap." Shadow said. When they got to her house, Sally opened the door and said, "Oh great, you guys. Come on in."

SALLY ACORN

MIGHTY'S ON-AND-OFF GF

BITCHY, BITCHY, BITCHY

"This party sucks, Mighty." Shadow said.

"I know, Shadow. I'd thought it would be a little more exciting." Mighty said.

"Well, I'm gonna use the bathroom. Later." When Shadow went upstairs, he saw Sonic. This blue hedgehog knows everybody.

"Hey, Sonic? You know everybody right?"

"You could say that." Sonic told him.

"You know a bat with white fur, has an extreme gear with a heart on it?"

"Oh Rouge? Yeah, she's hardcore. She's not just a badass. She's a bad-bat."

"You make the worst puns."

"Anyways, she's around. Talk to some more people." Shadow heard more about Rouge. Mostly, it was about her being hardcore. He heard she had a boyfriend, and then he talked to Sally.

"What the * beep * do you wanna know about her?" when Sally said * beep *, a censor bar appeared in front of her mouth.

"I still don't understand how you do that. Does she have a boyfriend?" Shadow asked.

"They broke up. And if you know what's good, you'll back off." Shadow didn't hear her because he was making his way to Rouge.

"Hi, I'm Shadow." He told her.

"Rouge."

"So, what do you doing here in Westopolis? Aren't you from Empire City?"

"I just decided to move here. I work at . Anyways, I gotta go. Nice to meet ya. Shad." As she walked off, Shadow thought she was interesting. Single, pretty, thoughts were running through his mind. When he went back home, he shouted to Ray, "She's real!"

"What?" Ray asked Shadow.

"The bat in my dreams! She's real! Her name is Rouge, and she, she's from Empire City, and she works at Amazon."

"…One sec." Ray then went to the kitchen, grabbed the frying pan, and…

CRASH!

Ray hit Shadow right in the back of the head.

"What was that for?" Shadow asked.

"Oh, see when someone acts crazy, I hit them with a frying pan."

"I'm not crazy! Her name is Rouge! And she works at Amazon! So, I'm ordering this CD to see her. Hey, look at this e-mail.

_Dear Shadow the Hedgehog,_

_I see you want to date Rouge. We will battle for her. Whoever wins-_

"This e-mail sucks eggs. Delete." Shadow then headed by the door and stood there.

"You actually expect the package to come that qui-" Ray was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"You were saying?" Shadow said. He opened the door and saw Rouge holding the package.

"Oh, its you. Well, here's your package. Just sign here." Rouge told him. Shadow just stood there and stared at her.

"Look, do you want your package or not?" Shadow just kept staring at her. She slapped him and that made him speak. "Sorry, um where do I sign?" shadow said.

"Here, weirdo."

"I'm not weird, it's just I get nervous around new people."

"Actually, that's understandable. What the heck come to my house." She grabbed Shadow by his hand and they headed to her house. There, Shadow asked, "How do you get to places so fast?"

"This bag. It let's me go to subspace. You want some tea?"

"Sure."

"I got iced tea, sleepy tea, cherry tea, berry tea, sweet tea, green tea, yellow tea, Korean tea, and white tea."

"Um…"

"I'm a sleepy tea person." Then, Rouge got the tea, prepared it, and gave it to Shadow. They talked about Shadow's life, but only some of Rouge's.

"Hey, will you excuse me? I gotta go to my room." Rouge told him. Later, Shadow was getting a little cold, and he went to Rouge's room to ask her where the thermostat was. When he walked in, he saw Rouge in her bra and panties.

"Dude, I'm changing."

"Sorry." Shadow said, covering his eyes. "I was wondering where the thermostat was. It's getting a little cold."

"Here, I'll warm you…Now open your eyes." When Shadow opened them, Rouge didn't change and was right in front of him, smiling. After a while, they were both on Rouge's bed, making out. After a few minutes, Rouge stopped and said, "Actually, I changed my mind. I'm not gonna have sex with you, but I'll let you stay for the night in my bed." She cuddled up in Shadow's fur, and both fell asleep. The next morning, Shadow asked, "So are we something now or was that a one-night? I would like something since I didn't even get any."

"Okay, you said you have a band right? And you're in that battle of the bands thing? I'll go to that. Is that alright?" she asked him.

"Alright."

"See you then." She kissed Shadow on the cheek, then she went to work while Shadow went home. When he walked home, he told Ray of the night he had.

"Aw, she is real. Well, you gotta break up with Marine if you want a serious relationship with Rouge."

"I know, but how do I break it off?"

"Just say you don't think things will work out. well, I gotta sleep." After he landed on the mattress, the phone rang. Shadow picked it up and heard "At least you're not a predator!" Shadow looked at Ray and said, "How does he do that? anyways, her name is Rouge the Bat, she works at ."

"Well, I hope the brek-off with Marine is alright. See ya tonight." Then she hung up on Shadow

At the music store, Marine said, "I can't wait for the battle of the bands! It'll be awesome!"

"Hey Marine, we need to talk-"

"It will be awesome! I know you'll win! Now, what did you wanna say?"

"...Nothing." At the Battle of the Bands, Shadow was with Marine. He saw Rouge and told Marine to wait a sec.

"Hey, Rouge."

"Hey. So your band is up next."

"Thanks for the information." After he spoke, Marine came up and was about to speak when she saw Rouge. Both girls stared at each other without speaking. Shadow told them, "One sec." He then headed to the band. When he got there, the announcer said, "Welcome to the first round of Battle of the Bands. First up, coming from Spagonia, Crash and the Boys." When all of the members were there, Wave said, "They have a girl drummer?" "A girl who's a boy." Mighty said.

The lead singer, a tiger, said, "Okay, hee's a song called, "I Am Sad, So Very, Very Sad." The band played for 4 seconds and then Ray shouted from the balcony, "It's not a race guys!" Then the lead singer said, "Okay this one's to the guy in the balcony. It's called "We Hate You, Please Die." "I love this one." Ray said this to Amy's boyfriend, who he's been eyeing the whole night. While the song was playing, Mighty shouted, "We are screwed! Done! How will we follow this up? We can't! Shadow, do you know what to do? Help!" The other three were just staring at the band. Then, the announcer said, "Cool. Next up is Sex Bob-omb." All of the bandmates were ready, but before Wave could scream, a green hedgehog broke through the wall, and said, "Shadow the Hedgeghog. I'm here to challenge you." The hedgehog ran up, pushed Wave and Mighty out of the way and punched Shadow to the floor. Shadow got up and looked at the hedgehog. Then, he asked, "Who are you?"

The hedgehog, with a confused face, said "I'm Manic. Didn't you get my e-mail? You're fighting me."

"I am?"

"I'm the first of Rouge's 7 evil exes. Now, you will die in a battle of the same sexes." He ran at Shadow, but Shadow grabbed him by the leg. Then, he threw him at the wall, hitting first with his head.

"What do you mean? Who is this guy? Rouge, tell me this, and why is is that we rhyme?"

"Manic was the only hedgehog of the jocks. So I helped him beat them up, then we trapped them in the closet, and through the lock. He was my first kiss, but we were only for a week. Then, we broke-up and I guess he became meek." Then, Manic got up and hovered in the air. And flying chicks appeared around him, shooting fire at Shadow.

"Now Shadow the Hedgehog, you will die!" Manic screamed

_Battle #1_

_Manic the Hedgehog vs Shadow the Hedgehog_

The women flew at Shadow and pinned him against the wall. At the last second, Shadow got out of the hold and threw them at Manic. The other two threw fireballs at Shadow, with one slightly burning him. Shadow ran at the two and performed a homing attack on the first one's head, destroying it instantly. The other one rushed at Shadow, but shadow kicked her in the face. Manic got up along with the other two and homing attacked Shadow but he homing attacked back and both landed on the ground feet first. while both panted, the three ladies grabbed Shadow and pinned him on the wall. Then, Manic formed a giant beam and shot it, hitting Shadow right in the chest. Shadow was on the ground with Manic above him. Manic was about to kick him when Shadow grabbed hs foot, then punched Manic in the gut. shadow then got up and kicked Manic in the head. Then, Shadow punched one of the ladies in the face, grabbed the other two, threw them up, and then punched one in the back, sending it crashing to the ground on top of the other two. Then, Shadow got a feeling in the ring around his hand. Shadow clutched his fist, and let go, sending a sphere at Manic.

_Shadow earned the Chaos Sphere Ability._

_Attack: x6_

_Heart: x3_

_Defence: x4_

_Power: x3_

"Hmph. This is interesting. Now, I'm going to defeat you!" Shadow grabbed MAnic and threw him at the wall. Then, he kicked Manic in the gut. Manic tried punching at Shadow, but Shadow grabbed his fist. Then, with his other hand, grabbed Manic's head, and kneeded him, and when he collapsed to the ground, coins were on the ground.

_K.O.!_

"Well, I geuss the winner is Sex Bob-Omb. See you guys in a few weeks." the announcer said. Shadow counted the coins and got $1.00 out of it. "You'd think I'd get a little more." Shadow said.

Rouge turned to Amy, and said, "well, I'll take Shadow home. Have fun with your gay-friend, okay?"

"Gay-friend?" amy asked. Then, she saw Ray kissing her boyfriend, Lucas, "Lucas, again?"

"This won't be enough for the bus." Shadow said. "I'll give you some more change come on let's go." On the bus Rouge told Shadow, "Okay, I'm going to tell you now. If you want to date me, you're going to have to defeat my Seven Evil Exes."

"Seven Evil Ex-Boyfriends?"

"Evil Exes, yes."

"Okay, I'm up for it. I want to date you, even if that means to defeat your exes."

"Okay, but it'll be tough."

"I'm going to fight."

"Okay." Then, Rouge kissed Shadow and they waited for the bus to head to her house.

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**Author's note: Please remember, this just what came to my head. I don't think Ray is gay, this is just what came to my head and I thought it fit. Also, sorry that the first part being boring and the action part wasn't all that exciting. If you're going to criticize, please be constructive criticism. No flames. Thanks for reading!**


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